The Definition of Fear.
“Ok, Here’s the truth. I’ve had a crush on you for years. Well, more than a crush,” His eyes are closed as he lays on the bed.
She waits.
“I love you, actually.”
She kisses him.
“I love you, Jennifer.”
“Please don’t tell me that for the first time. Not now. Not when you’re drunk.”
“Shit. Of course you wouldn’t believe that if I’m drunk.”
“No.”
“Okay, I retract it. I retract it,” he kisses her forehead.
“You can’t just retract something like that.”
“Yes I can. It’s done.”
She strokes his chest, cuddling into his shoulder.
And she pauses.
“It just terrifies me.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to turn into everyone else.”
Pause.
“What’s really bothering me are two things.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, one is that I write better when I’m miserable. So I haven’t been writing lately.”
“I’m sure I’m going to make you miserable at some point,” he laughs.
“And the other is that I have this idea of what I want to do.”
“How so?”
“I want to travel. I want to live throughout the world.”
“What do you mean? Traveling?”
“I mean, I want to live in other countries for a couple years at a time.”
He sighs.
“Well. You’ve got to do what you need to. And if that’s what you want to do, I’m probably going to kick myself for this later, but I’m not going to stop you. Do what you need to do.”
But what she was really terrified of was this: with him, she wouldn’t ever want to go anywhere else ever again.
